Leading with self-Confidence - Interview with Thilan Legierse

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This podcast is an interview with renown "Leadership and Mediation" Coach and consultant "Thilan Legierse" all the way from Australia
Thilan shares with us what is her definition of leadership, challenges that she met in her life that helped her reinvent who she is today
She also shares her definition of SUCCESS, and shows us a bit of her life path and mission in life
It is a podcast that you d not want to miss. Thilan is releasing a new online program "Leading with Confidence"
To reach Thilan's website:
http://www.thilanlegierse.com
Her email:
Thilan@ThilanLegierse.com
Her new program:
http://www.thilanlegierse.com/leading-with-confidence

Transcript

spk_0:   0:00
Are you ready to let go of your fears and limiting beliefs? Ready to live in the moment, ready to live a positive life by creating new habits? You're in the right place. Join us every week at the reinvent yourself to greatness with Sahar Show to learn how to create the happy life you always wanted and deserved. Now hello.  

spk_0:   0:18
This is your host Sahar Andrade of the reinvent yourself with Sahar podcast. Hello, Re-inventors, we have been away for a while. We took a hiatus because we wanted to change the formatting of the podcast. I wanted to bring more inspirational motivational stories for you of actual people that are successful and they are willing to share the reinvention stories, including their tools, the solution, the challenges they face and how they came up as winners and what success means to them. Hopefully, the stories will inspire and motivate you to reinvent yourself to greatness

spk_0:   1:03
All the way from Australia. We have Thilan and I know it's really early right now in Australia. So I really, really appreciate you being with us today at reinvent yourself to greatness with Sahar. Thank you Thilan,

spk_1:   1:18
Thank you for having me and very excited for this opportunity. It's wonderful to be here.

spk_0:   1:22
And I'm excited to have you Thilan. Do you mind sharing a little bit about yourself and what you do?

spk_1:   1:30
Yeah. Okay. So, yes, I am in Australia. But if people think what is that funny accent? I'm actually not from Australia. I now have double nationality, but I'm originally from the Netherlands. So, uh, that's hence the accent. So I have been here for 10 years, and I'm actually calling myself these days a leadership and team coach and a mediator. So basically what I do. So I've worked with leaders and teams and helped and reach their maximum potential. Often it's when there's issues when the collaboration is not going well when there's conflict and when everyone realizes like a actually, we need to step up a bit on. They asked me to come in and work with them.

spk_0:   2:13
Great. And you do that only locally in Australia. Do you do it like maybe somewhere else, like through online coaching? Or do you travel? How do you offer your services

spk_1:   2:25
Oh, You're very good because I forgot to mention that, Yes, so my online one on one. Coaching is also online. And because I have worked in the U. N. And I come from the Netherlands, I really have this global needs. Um, and so I love working people from all over the globe. So that's the one on one coaching, and I've had several online courses, but I've now consolidated that all into one course, which is called leading with confidence. And that is a program actually an online program and which I'm launching very soon, and that will be with people from all over the world. And that's my webinars that I've been doing as well. So that that's what I love about the online, um, opportunities like talking to you now and yes,

spk_0:   3:19
so and I remember when we talked before when we were getting together to do the podcast, we have talked about how we grew up both like expats and how there is a name at to us. Actually, I think it's the third kind Children when we grew up in cultures that are not ours. Yes, and it was funny that we share the same background. And maybe that's why I felt connected to you right away.

spk_1:   3:45
Yeah, yeah, the same for me. And I think, um, I I'm not really a Third Culture child because I I went into other cultures when I was a young adults. I traveled. A lot of my Children definitely are because they've got three nationalities. So remember that compensated very well. Yes.

spk_0:   4:05
So before we move to the question do you want to share you what site or how can people get hold of you?

spk_1:   4:11
Yeah. So, um so my website is my name, which is, of course, for most people are pretty pretty challenging. And also because this name is unusual. So my website is Thilanlegierse.com and I'm sure as if people are interested, they will. They'll get it may be in the podcast with my name. So it's just my name dot com

spk_0:   4:37
and I'm gonna put in the description off the podcast, a website as well.   

spk_0:   4:42
And the other thing about having such a name is that Andi, everything is transparent because if you Google me, you'll find everything about me. Yes.

spk_0:   4:53
I want to start our questions today by asking you what does success means to you? I have been doing, you know, through our coaching, we catch a lot of people from different backgrounds different, yeah, experiences, different walks of life. And I noticed that most people believe that success is a certain things. But we really come to know that it's not one thing. It's like each one of us have a different definition of success. So what will be your definition off success?

spk_1:   5:30
Sahar, that is a very difficult question. So for me, I think success is almost like more a a state of being, and not that you are successful all the time, but the feeling that you have that flow and that you have, um, that you are fulfilling your fullest potential the way you want it. So for me, it's very holistic. Success is not just to do with career. You can have a great career, but it's your family. Life is really not. Well, then I don't call that a success for me. It's the balance between having a great career, having a great family life, being healthy and just kind of enjoy being on this planet and doing what you do well. And by doing that and what you enjoy Sahar, not just what you do well, but what you enjoy, you radiate a certain energy that other people catch on and that inspires other people. So it's not just about you. It's about spreading a feeling a feeling of content and of being who you are and being happy with that, um yeah, to the rest of the world's

spk_0:   6:54
great thank you. You know, like the great Gandhi said. He said, You cannot be good at one part of your life without being good at all the parts of your life, so that that's a great definition. I love it. Love it. Um, I want to now go into some challenges that you went through in your life that you not only you went through, but you also, um, overcame the adversity and came on the other side off success in a way to reinvent yourself to who you are today. Can you share some of that with us, please?

spk_1:   7:33
Yes, of course. I I think if you know, life is a journey full of you know, stumble, blocks and challenges. But if I look back now, I think one of the really big challenges in the first for me. Um, maybe on a on a personal level Was When when my daughter was very ill and when we thought we were going to lose her So that was was a major challenge then, thankfully, that Oh, um went so well. But I think my biggest challenge in my career was actually when I moved to Australia because I had a wonderful career. I started as a barrister in the Netherlands, which I don't know in US they are called "Lawyers" they can be a bit funny about lawyers, but in Holland, it's very prestigious job. And then I worked here the same

spk_1:   8:28
Okay, so and I worked for the United United Nations in several countries on human rights and war crimes. So I had a really great fire on, and, felt I also really made a contribution and came to Adelaide, Australia, and actually had to start all over again. And the thing was that everyone loved my CV and all my working experience, but um, they didn't know where to place me. They didn't know. So I had to really start all over again. And that, I think, was my biggest challenge by, um, having to accept that just this great career in itself is not enough and that I need to kind of learn to be humble, and to start all over again and not becoming a victim as in saying all. And this is also different, too difficult and the way they treat me and all that, and just kind of empower myself and become really clear off what it is. I want to go and just follow steadily follow that road. And, um and that's was Lead me where I am now, which I think it's the greatest part of my career now, in which I have my own business. Do what I am good at and love. But, um, yeah, it's ah, took me a while and I've learned a lot from from having to start all over again.

spk_0:   10:01
Absolutely. And that's that. If that is not reinvention, what is? And I know that there are a lot of people that keep saying like don't reinvent the wheel, Don't reinvent the wheel And I understand that sometimes, yes, you don't need to reinvent the wheel for everything. But I found out in my life and through the eyes off a lot of other people around me that we actually sometimes need to push that envelope. We need the change we need to reinvent ourselves. And once we do, we become a lot better on the other side. So what would you think Thelan? I understand the challenge to change from one career and one environment and one culture and rules and regulations to the other. Was really difficult. What emotionally for you was the most difficult part of it.

spk_1:   10:55
Okay, I I'm just going to be really honest with you. I think emotionally the most difficult part for me methat I thought I was moving to Australia with my family and I have always been the breadwinner off off our family. My husband is a musician and he's always supported me in my career that we we kind off.  Not knowingly, but we said we're going to Australia and the sun shines every day and we'll have a house with a pool. And so and then coming to Australia and finding out that that wasn't what was waiting for us so emotionally, That was a strange on me. As in, I felt I wasn't providing the way I should have for my family. And, um and that I think I found the most challenging. And just to change, to change that and say It's okay to have you need some time to reinvent yourself. And, um, my family, we have two daughters absolutely lovely anyway, So they said, It's okay, Mom. We don't have a house with a pool and, you know, and so that I think just to kind of do the stories you tell yourself I have to be and I have to do that. kind of letting go of that and just accepting and trusting and having faith in yourself in in, um, the universe or in God, whatever you want to, that things will work out again and not get stuck in in that in that state where you think failing and this is never gonna work and let's just pack my bags Because, honestly, I've had times that I said, and to my husband that  if this doesn't come through, I am out of here.

spk_0:   12:45
 I know, I know what It's amazing what we go through and and I have been finding one of the things that remains at the end, is the ability. And what helps us is the ability at the end to be kind to ourselves, you know? And it just, like, absolutely are so hard. Especially those of us like us that that are ambitious, that wanna push forward, that they wanna be having impact in the world, that they want to lead people and help people. It's just like we are really hard on ourselves. So being kind of to ourselves is one of the greatest lessons that I also I have learned in my life. Thilan how does this emotional roller coaster, if you want to call it, um, affected the way that you are leading your coaching with people now?

spk_1:   13:46
Yeah, okay. So I always First of all, I just want to say I completely agree with you and I always say, like, Oh, ah, about being kind to yourself you could have empathy for others but also have empathy for yourself. So I really love that. And I think also what came out of that because you me about in the leadership spaces well is leading yourself and and so just taking almost charge and coaching yourself, meeting yourself. So for my coaching business, I think adversity is something that happens to all of us when you go through life and being vulnerable, and being honest about that is really important. So I think I hope it made me a better leader, Definitely, because I had to learn not to be a leader and started my first job here was as a government investigator, and I was just in investigator, no longer a leader, And I had a few other jobs before I was back in the in the seat of as a leader, and I learned so much from watching other people lead and knowing what effect it has on on teams when leadership is, um um, there I say, not following the principles that I think are good leadership principle. So I learned the loss from that because there's a leader you kind of taking something sometimes for granted. But then when you are looking at it from a different perspective as a team member, you realize, Oh, my gosh, you know, So, yeah, I learned a lot from that. And just having that being humble and, um and I'm being what often people said to me, Oh, you're a role model for me because somehow people think when you're successful that you've always been successful and like,my failures never happened as everything comes easy to me but it is not - theysay You're so good with this and that. But no, I mean, I had to pick myself up many a times, and I have my self doubt and and my stories that I tell myself in one of the stories, only realizing Hindsight's that I told myself about immigrating to Australia. It's a provincial town where everyone knows each other. So my story was from outside. I'll never make it here on day. I hold on to that story for quite a few years until I realized this is just a a stupid story. I'm telling myself, and it's it's not part of the truth and not on facts. And once I was able to let that go, I realized that it was just something in my head. So we all have our our struggles and knowing that I think I can help people with that as well And that's someone's leaders. People, state leaders know everything. No, they don't. And they feel isolated and lonely and they can't, um, always discussed with others. And, um, they have to believe in themselves. So yeah, it's a lot in common. They're absolutely.  

spk_1:   17:01
If I was a young person getting into this field like leadership and mediation, what would you tell me that will help me move forward? And that will save me some heartaches?

spk_1:   17:21
Uh, okay, Um, I First of all, I really believe that the best thing you can do is to invest in yourself. So, um, if you want to be a leader or a mediator or any profession that you really, um, gets the education that you think you need and it doesn't always have to be a $20,000 expense, of course, but just really trying to work on your skills um, as a young person, I also believe that you need to learn, Doesn't matter what your what your age is, but you need to be humble. This well, so what I saw when I was working in the UN. When I was actually quite young myself. I have been embarrassed, but I was just in my early years, you can't come in a position of being an officer of the court, or a prosecutor. I was working for a boss who was 55 you come in with that attitude like I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you how to be a great prosecutor or how to lead better. That doesn't work. So it's really about having that diplomatic approach. I have some skills, and I would like to work with you on this, but never to make the other person feel that they are less and the end you are more or that, um, that's, um yeah, make them feel awkward. So just betting that I don't know if it's called humbleness or ah, but yeah, just just realizing we're all on the journey and not not coming across this, I'm going to tell you.

spk_1:   19:14
Yeah, I think I said it's just realizing that everyone is on the journey and that, um, if you are working with someone in the leadership or conflict space that not to have the attitudes that you think you know best and so to really respect the other person's experiences and expertise and collaborate as and I have some skills and I can help you with this in a partnership and not, as in, I'm going to tell you what to do and make the other person feel awkward as embarrassed, especially in conflict situations, people often already feel quite vulnerable and just to kind of have that empathy and also that no, that attitude is I'm going to save you and tell you what to do but more. Let's work together

spk_0:   20:08
absolutely, and one of the things that I learned from one of my mentors when we are in a conflict I wanted to share something about the conflict they always told me to start with, "I feel" "I believe" you know the "I" statements. So not to put the others on defensive. Is that correct? Okay, Um Okay, So before I let you go, I want to ask you, um, some words of wisdom when it comes to reinventing yourself. Like, where do you start? What does it mean to you? I want you to leave our listeners with some words of your wisdom.

spk_1:   21:26
When would I start? What do that should they look for and and at the end, if you just want to say if you have, like, a quote or something that you believe in and you apply in your life will begreat. Yeah. Um, I got nervous about the quote because I've got so many  quotes on sometimes. How? Um, because it's Australia, So, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I'll try. Yes. So which of wisdom that's Ah, that's a big ask. The thing really about reinvent yourself is what I say to young people because my daughters are just young adults like you don't have to think that when you choose something that for the rest of your life. So I believe like you, that you constantly need to reinvent yourselves. And, um So what's the wisdom are is to kind of, Go into yourself and do not care what others tell you or what what they think you should do but really go to What are my core values? What is the main thing that I want to do in this one life? That at least I know this thesis of on on this planet and what can be my crippling myself? We, cater to the needs of other people or how other people want to see us and just finding the within yourself what this is I want and how How can I do that is really important. And for me, I do that by,  just having walks in nature and just realizing like, hey, this trees will still be here when I'm gone. And, um and that kind of helps me. I'm not very good at meditating for an hour on on the yoga mat, but I just go outside and just kind of gets gets all the voices out of your heads and just started listening to your own voice or God's voice wherever you want to call it. But what what comes up for you and then just really starting. And and, um, last year when I went through transformation and I found it very difficult as and I didn't know if I believe I could do my my whole change I wanted, which I just planted some tomato seeds and I saw it You know, the law is that the few seeds, If you put some seeds in in yours and you take care of it, it will grow, and that's what I did. And I I, um, got my tomatoes. And I also got the confirmation like that. You know, that is what it takes. Focus and make a plan. Focus, nurture. Be kind, um, invest and trust that it will grow.

spk_0:   24:27
Thilan. It has been such a pleasure to have you on the podcast today and again. Listeners, I'm gonna be putting the link for Thilan's website in the description off the episode. And I know you're just starting your day. I mean, I'm in the West Coast here. It's almost 3 p.m. And and you are like I believe, like it's 8:30 in the morning. You know,  it just It's great. I hope that everyone enjoyed the pearls of wisdom that actually Thilan shared with us. And I truly appreciate your honesty. And you know, you're being genuine and sharing some of your core feelings off who you are you want to be here. So thank you so much. Thilan, Thank you for being here  

spk_0:   25:19
Thank you for having me. It was a real pleasure. Thank you. And thanks for your words of wisdom

spk_0:   25:26
thank you, Thilan. But I will see you soon. Thanks for listening to reinvent yourself to greatness with Sahar. Tune in next week for even More inspiration and tools to create the happy life you've always wanted to go to www.reinventyourselftogreatness.com or send us an email at info@Reinventyourselftogreatness.com

spk_0:   25:47
See you next time